The End is Nigh!
PANERA HAS RUN OUT OF BREAD! PANERA HAS RUN OUT OF BREAD! Save yourselves! Cover your eyes from the volley of croutons! They’re pouring delicious boiling creamy tomato soup on the masses from the towers!
This city-wide power outage is really pretty crazy – massive lines at gas stations, very few restaurants open, and no one can cook at home. Just threw out everything in the fridge, including the soy bologna. I said a little prayer.
Just typing this from the corner of the Panera where the blood of the rioting hasnt reached yet . OK, gotta run before they start beating each other with the bread pans.
